If you’re looking for a quick update, here is pretty much our whole weekend:
Cookies. Anthony, Ed and their tractor JJ. Movies. Game Fair. Cookies. Sweets. Mountain Boarding. Singing. Photos. Cookies. Pyjamas. Hyper activity. A certain 4 year old. Chavs. Cookies.
BUT way more cool stuff happened than that, and if you’ll let me rant, I’d love to tell you about it. If you want to read Golden’s Live Journal or Thing Two’s Bebo Blog, feel free, they’ll be better than mine, probably.
Day One: Remember I said I’d gone to get my sleeping bag? Yeah, well I left it at home by my bed. Anyway, we left Golden’s ‘rents to set up the caravan etc. (at their request!) and went exploring as the fair wasn’t on yet. Okay, we kinda went boy hunting, but there was nothing to report, sah! Well… unless you count the (too many) grey haired fat blokes. Let’s face it, they don’t really have that ‘Frank Iero’ quality. Not future winners of the fit factor. Hmph. We ventured into the toilet block, which was surprisingly nice, and took photos (of us, not the toilets) before visiting the “shops” (tents selling all the essentials… ie booze, fast food, shampoo and cookies), then found a cool tree, which we called the oak tree but it was definitely not oak. I did explain this, but noone cared, surprisingly. We then called people and talked about… uhm… let’s say tactfully, “girl stuff”, though it was more about guys, actually, before retiring to the caravan for some ‘beauty sleep’. Bahahaha.
Ahh, good times.
Day Two: We decide to attend the game fair, and to get there we discover you can take these awsome tractor things, so we do, although the journey is less than 5 mins walk and the queue is nearly 15 mins long. When we get there, we discover there are no fairground rides as there have been previously, so we go in search of another form of entertainment… And did we find it! I may not have mentioned yet, but if you didn’t know already the 24th- 28th of August was very, very hot in bonnie Blighty. We discovered mountain boarding sessions were being run by… FIT TOPLESS NOT OVER 40 GUYS! and eagerly signed up just in time to get a free session. (Courtesy of Fat Face, we love you, haha!) Then Thing One and Thing Two bought some sweets from an ice cream van. The man advertised them as a pound, but tried to charge them one fifty. The Things gave him evils, so he charged them One Twenty. I tried to kick up a fuss about false advertising, but I desperately needed an ice lolly and didn’t want him to refuse to serve me… But we began plotting our vengeance at once. On our way back, we got a tractor, whom we dubbed JJ, and rode around in him for ages until the driver lied! to us and said it was his last round, which it wasn’t! So we ate afore mentioned sugar filled foodstuffs, ran around the campsite to wear off said sugar, in our pyjamas of course, chasing JJ the tractor and it’s driver, Anthony, shouting: You lied! You make little children cry for fun! etc. at him and his trailer guy Ed before we became so exhausted we fell into bed. (And then played Would You Rather and Wed Bed or Dead.)
Day Three: After an unsuccessful lie- in – the camp beds deflated and the girl next door was shouting, ‘CAN I HAVE BREAKFAST NOW?!’ – we gave up and ate our own breakfast, went for a shower and then chillaxed with and big brother apparently on the TV, although it seemed more like a grey screen with an accompaniment of white noise. Interesting and mind stretching. After lunch, we headed down to the much anticipated mountainboarding session. We saw some professionals do a ‘demo’… back-somersault-twist-flip-spin type things on a really big ramp. Then we had a go… we weren’t naturals. Thing Two, who didn’t participate, did get some great ‘action snaps’ though… oo-er. After being strapped in, it turned out we were pretty much the only females to have partaken in the activity so far, and I found out why after winding myself so badly I was unable to move for five minutes. Embarassing, much? But we got what we wanted, so it was okay, and good fun too. Then Thing One and Thing Two did a Ropes Course, as Golden and I watched with mucho amusement. As we returned to the campsite, we bought more sweets, but this time when the man tried to charge us £1.50, we said, ‘Oh… they were only a pound yesterday… do we have enough change?… em, oh dear…’ He wasn’t best impressed but quickly mumbled something about the rising cost of sugar and charged us a pound. Success! We got back, had a waterfight and changed into our pyjamas, then walked down to our tree, where we watched the sunset. Then freaked as we’d been sat next to a huge dog poo. I was rather mortified when we attracted two wolf- whistles on our way back to the caravan, which was about 200m away from where we’d been sitting at most, despite the fact it was so dark we could barely see if it was a lad or a real wolf whistling at us. Upon this note, we returned home to watch Nanny McPhee. We’re not as cool as you’d like to imagine, boys.
Yes, a photo of me, I'm just in the background is all!
Day Four: Woke up late, so decided to watch The Persuit of Happyness, then hitched a tractor ride with JJ, Anthony and Ed to the fair, followed by hitching a ride with a golf buggy through the fair who could only carry Thing One and Thing Two, leaving Golden and I running behind, much to everybody’s amusement. Then we pretty much just hung around all day, watching dog shows and ferret racing, admiring pigs, dogs and horses and doing as much as possible to keep cool. We came home at the end of the day, and hung around in the shade of the caravan until dusk came to avoid all possibilities of sunburn or heatstroke. (Vampires or what? haha). Then we went out, seen as it was 10 o’clock by now, in our pyjamas as we thought we’d only be going out to buy Golden a bottle of water. WRONG! Here’s what happened:
Random man, about 60: Excuse me love, come here a second.
Me: Yes?
Man: This is my son Philip, and this (points a pudgy finger to an 18/ 19 year old lad) is his mate Anthony!
Me: Oh. Thing Two: OUR TRACTOR DRIVER’S CALLED AN–
Man(now obviously drunk): Shut up, you! (Looks to me) Whatd’ya think of him, love? Anthony! talk to her, boy!
Anthony: Uhm, where you from?
Me: Near Stratford.
Anthony: Where you going?
Me: To get a drink.
Anthony: Drinks drink or non drink drink?
Me: Water.
Anthony: Oh, right, so, how old are you?
Thing One, Thing Two and Golden: We’re 13, she’s 14. *laugh*
Anthony: What? Oh, right… *worried face*
Me: I’m 15 pretty soon, if it makes you feel better. (NB me not interested but trying to be kind!)
Anthony: Oh… do you want to come back to our caravan to play poker? We have plenty of water… Or we could do something else? (Yes, that was said rather ungraciously)
Thing One, Two and Golden: She’s got a boyfriend! *laugh more*
Me: No ThankYou.
Anthony: Go on, please?
Me: GotToGoNowElevenOClockCurfewBye!
Anthony: It’s only 10:15!! I’ll teach you to play poker!
But by this time we’ve disappeared to our tree. Luckily, they only shout at us from a distance from then on, although their younger siblings do bother us for a bit, hitting us with bikes, insulting us and throwing away my apple (sacrilige and very dangerous territory) but then I faked a call from Golden’s folks and we returned to the confines of our caravan. I swear, I’m sticking to Superhuman. Golden was v tired and went straight to bed, so I left her to it and we watched telly for a bit, until a dodgy film came on and we decided we should quit while we were ahead and go straight to bed and, not wanting to disturb Golden, all three of us squeezed into Thing One and Thing Two’s bed.
Ed, Thing Two, Thing One, Anthony
Day Five (sobs): Packed up, then drove around the practically empty campsite hanging out the sun roof. Thing One’s dad even let her drive for a bit. Then, as we were about to leave, the caravan fell off. Attatched it back on, and before we knew it, we were leaving the glories of Blenheim palace.
Sorry the entry’s been so long, bambini, but there were so many good things to fit in! And I hope you like the pictures, I know I don’t usually include them so I made an extra effort. And, bambini, if you don’t read this post… You suck ’cause it took me friggin’ ages to write!
Ti amo, bambini! Ciao!
