When you really put your head down and focus on something.
Today, I went out because on to the cold and slightly wet school field quite willingly because I’d signed up for the Sport Relief Mile to raise money for charity. We had the option of doing 1, 2 or 3 miles- or more if we could manage, but it was kind of expected that no-one would do 3, let alone 4+, but we were allowed as long as we weren’t late for lessons (we did it in our lunch break).
I’m not in the slightest bit athletic, so I decided I’d walk the mile then see if I could manage two because I doubted I’d have any energy (I skipped having lunch, for the sake of the poor children out there who don’t get lunch ever). However, as I got started with Blondie and NewAgePunk, it seemed that everyone was running it, which made us look a bit sad walking it, so we sped up to a jog. After one lap I realised not warming up was very stupid of me as I’d only done 1/3rd of a mile and was starting to get a stitch. However, I pressed on.
After my second lap, I noticed JL was on his own so I caught up with him, and must admit left Blondie and NAP. He didn’t have his inhaler thingy so was feeling a bit breathless, so I stayed with him. This is good because he is sporty and did I mention I’m not? But anyway, I managed to keep up with him (or rather, every time I attempted to slow down he egged me on, so a great big thank- you to him).
So I did the mile and chose to do the second. After I was about 1/2 way through said second mile, I couldn’t keep up with him and I ran the last of the two miles on my own. And I was going to stop: My body was hurting, I’d not had food, I’d forgotten my drink, and then I crossed the two mile finish line. And all at once, thoughts flooded my head:
Children half my age walk twice this far every day just to get a bucketful of water.
A wolf can run three miles non- stop.
Children half my age walk twice this far every day just to get a bucketful of water.
I am not quite suffering from exhaustion.
Children half my age walk twice this far every day just to get a bucketful of water.
And I made a split second descicion: I was going to carry on. And I did, I ran another whole mile without slowing down once. I didn’t catch up with JL. I didn’t run with anyone else. It was far, far, far from easy and each step I took I wanted to swear and scream and moan with pain. But I didn’t let myself, and I DID IT! I can’t tell you how good it felt to cross that finish line. To know I was going to make just that little bit of difference to someone’s life made me feel so good, I almost felt like I could do it all over again. Almost- but not quite. And then I collapsed on the grass and growled softly. Do you know why? Because I truly felt like a wolf.
A mighty, powerful, lone she- wolf.
